From Page to Practice: Reclaiming Healthy Aggression
Welcome back to From Page to Practice, where I explore insights from impactful books and connect them to somatic and embodiment practices. Today, we’re diving into healthy aggression—a misunderstood yet essential force for living authentically and protecting our well-being.
What Is Healthy Aggression?
For many, the word "aggression" brings to mind conflict or harm, but healthy aggression is entirely different. It’s about asserting boundaries, pursuing needs, and reclaiming your energy. This natural force allows us to say “no,” stand up for ourselves, and express our emotions authentically. When expressed appropriately, healthy aggression is life-affirming, helping us live with clarity and confidence.
Why Suppressing Aggression Impacts the Body
As Gabor Maté highlights in When the Body Says No, suppressing emotions—especially anger—can have profound physiological effects. Numerous studies identify the inability to express emotions, particularly anger, as one of the most consistently linked factors to certain illnesses, including cancer.
This connection isn’t abstract. When anger is repressed, it significantly increases physiological stress on the body. This chronic stress doesn’t act alone but often coexists with other risk factors like hopelessness and a lack of social support. Together, these create a state of helplessness, leaving individuals feeling as though nothing they do will make a difference.
Maté explains that people who repress emotions often feel isolated, even in social situations, because their true selves remain unseen. This emotional disconnection can lead to a sense of hopelessness, which deepens over time and creates a cycle of helplessness.
The Numbers Speak Volumes
Research supports the profound connection between emotional patterns and illness. For example:
In one study, researchers were able to predict, with nearly 75% accuracy, which women with abnormal pap smears were likely to develop early-stage cancer. Their predictions were based solely on emotional assessments, identifying traits like unresolved frustration and a tendency toward helplessness.
A long-term study of 1,400 participants found that psychological traits like repressed anger and chronic hopelessness were strong predictors of cancer diagnoses and outcomes. When researchers revisited the participants' health records a decade later, their predictions were accurate in 78% of cases.
These findings emphasize the importance of acknowledging and expressing emotions—not just for mental health but also for physical well-being.
How the Body Stores Unexpressed Aggression
Aggression, like any other emotional force, doesn’t disappear when ignored. Instead, it gets stored in the body, often manifesting as tension, tightness, or chronic discomfort.
Common Signs of Repressed Aggression in the Body:
Tightness in the jaw, neck, or shoulders
Clenched fists or gripping objects tightly
Feeling drained or stuck in daily life
Irritability or restlessness without clear cause
Chronic fatigue, despite adequate rest
When unaddressed, these physical and emotional patterns can erode self-confidence and make it difficult to set boundaries or act in alignment with personal needs.
How Somatic Work Supports Healthy Aggression
Somatic Experiencing (SE) offers a body-centered way to reconnect with and release stored aggression. This isn’t about forcing emotions to the surface—it’s about creating a safe space for your body to rediscover its natural ability to express and release energy.
Here’s how somatic work can help:
Recognizing Sensations: Learn to notice physical cues, such as tightness or heat, that signal stored energy in your body.
Exploring Triggers: Identify situations or relationships that generate aggressive energy, and track how your body responds.
Releasing Energy Safely: Through grounding movements, vocalizations, or even deliberate breaths, SE helps you discharge stored aggression without overwhelming your system.
Practicing Boundaries: Role-playing or physically embodying boundary-setting can help you feel more confident asserting yourself in daily life.
Practical Steps to Explore Healthy Aggression
Notice Where Aggression Shows Up in Your Body
Take a moment to pause the next time you feel anger or frustration. Close your eyes and scan your body:
Is your jaw tight?
Are your shoulders tense?
Do you feel heat in your chest or a flutter in your stomach?
Simply observe these sensations without judgment. Recognizing where your body holds aggression is the first step to reclaiming it.
Practice Grounding Techniques
To channel the energy of aggression into something productive, start by grounding yourself:
Plant your feet firmly on the floor and feel the connection to the ground.
Take a few deep, slow breaths, focusing on the exhale.
Press your palms against a solid surface, like a wall or table, and notice the strength in your body.
Give the Energy a Physical Outlet
Healthy aggression is physical energy that needs movement. Try these simple, somatic-based exercises:
Push Movements: Press your hands outward, as if creating space around you.
Shake It Out: Gently shake your hands, arms, or legs to release tension.
Grounded Stomping: Stand firmly and stomp lightly, feeling the energy move through your body.
Use Your Voice
Reclaiming healthy aggression often involves finding and using your voice.
Practice saying “no” out loud, starting in a private space. Experiment with different tones until it feels natural.
Try vocalizing with a hum, growl, or yell (in a safe, private setting) to release pent-up emotion.
Set a Boundary
Start small by setting a clear boundary in a situation where you feel safe. For example:
“I’m not available to take this on right now.”
“I’d prefer we do it this way instead.”
Notice how your body feels after asserting yourself.
Reflect on What Healthy Aggression Feels Like
After practicing these steps, reflect on how it felt in your body. Did it bring relief, confidence, or clarity? Write down or think about how you might use this energy in future situations.
Channel the Energy Into Intentional Action
Anger carries a lot of energy, and when approached with awareness, it can be redirected into actions that feel meaningful and aligned with your values.
Pause and Reflect: After grounding yourself, ask, “What is this anger trying to tell me?” and “What needs to change here?”
Physical Expression for Clarity: Engage in a physical activity like a brisk walk, intentional stretching, or drumming to move the energy through your body. Often, movement can help clarify the next step.
Take a Small Step: Use the energy to fuel a productive action. For example, setting a boundary, cleaning up a space, or committing to a project you’ve been avoiding.
A Practical Example of Healthy Aggression
Imagine you’re in a situation where someone consistently interrupts you during a conversation. You notice a familiar sensation—tightness in your chest, maybe heat rising in your face. In the past, you might have brushed it off, smiled politely, or ignored the frustration bubbling up inside.
But this time, instead of suppressing the feeling, you pause to acknowledge what’s happening. You notice the tension in your body and recognize the need for your voice to be heard. With a deep breath, you calmly assert yourself:
"I’d like to finish what I’m saying before moving on."
This moment embodies healthy aggression. It’s not about being confrontational or angry—it’s about honoring your boundaries and expressing your needs with clarity. By tuning into your body, you recognize the importance of standing up for yourself while remaining connected and respectful.
Why This Matters
Healthy aggression isn’t loud or confrontational—it’s a quiet, life-affirming force that helps you reclaim your energy and live authentically. It allows you to say no, set boundaries, and show up as your full self. When you reconnect with this energy, you create space for greater authenticity, self-respect, and resilience.
When we channel our emotions with awareness and intention, healthy aggression becomes a life-affirming force. Turns out, not all aggression has to end in slammed doors and regret. Who knew?
If moments like this feel unfamiliar or challenging, somatic practices can help. They support you in recognizing and processing your emotions, making it easier to channel your energy into intentional, grounded actions.
